8/21/2007

The last day....

well, I have so much to blog about..we've done so much in the last week and a half and I have pics of everything to post, but for now, I'm wanting to share a little of my feelings with everyone. Usually I'm a pretty happy person, unaffected, easy-going (I like to think), but today I'm bothered. In fact, I think I'm downright blue today. My summer has ended. Today was my last day of freedom as I have to report back to school tomorrow. School actually starts on the 30th, but we have to report starting tomorrow. While I am so grateful to have a job and I do love my job, I have very mixed feelings right now. The summer has passed so quickly. Most of you know that this was my first summer home with the kids and I had great plans for us. I had a list a mile long of things to accomplish and goals to meet, as well as work for school that I intended to do over the summer. Alas, very little of it got done. And I'm feeling like a bit of a failure. I know I'm not a COMPLETE failure, because we did do some fun things this summer, and we loved being home, but I had really high hopes and goals for myself and came nowhere near meeting them. It's frustrating! On top of that, I'm really not ready to go back to school. My kids don't start school for 2 weeks, so now I'm back to scrambling for day care and the busy-ness is going to set in and I don't think I'm going to like it! I was working on some things for Donald earlier today and just got overwhelmed with stress, worry, anxiety-so I threw myself on my bed and had a good cry for awhile. It felt somewhat good-only now I'm exhausted on top of everything else! I know everything will be just fine, I know the Lord is in control, and I know that none of this is earth shattering or anything, but I can't fight the feelings that are overtaking me today-which is unusual because I'm usually a fighter. Right now I really just want to curl up in a little ball and cry some more and pray for one more day! Please say a little prayer for me tonight!

2 comments:

lindsey cheney said...

i prayed for you last night as i was feeding silas. you're on my heart today!

Joyful Weddings & Events said...

i'm praying for you- what a bittersweet situation. I'm glad you had a good cry. Turn up some music and sing really loud- we're good at that!