Why I haven't blogged....

I've hit a wall. Literally, today, I hit a wall. At the risk of sounding sappy and emotionally unstable-My life has changed so much since Cathie left and I'm kind of having a hard time lately. (Sorry, Cath, if you read this, but we talk everyday, so this shouldn't surprise you.) Just about every aspect of life has changed, not necessarily for the bad, but just "changed". School has definitely not been the same-my new monitor is very sweet, she's from South Africa so she has an awesome accent, but she's pretty quiet and definitely doesn't have the presence that Cathie had. She also doesn't work as fast as Cathie does, so I'm having to take a lot more work home now and things are not getting done in the classroom like they used to. I'm a bit overwhelmed. The kids are getting used to her, but they ask about Mrs. Bratton daily-and some of them are very protective still about "her desk", "her calculator", etc. I know they'll be okay, and I will too, but it's just different.

Daily life has changed-it still feels so odd that we don't see each other every day. It's odd that whole weekends go by and the boys haven't come over, we haven't made brownies, and we actually went to bed at a decent time! There was a time when I could be having a bad day, call Cath crying, and she'd be over in a heart beat to help with whatever was standing in my way. Today should have been one of those days, but, I had to settle for a phone call. Let me start at the beginning. I have Open House on Tuesday at school. Anyone who's a teacher or is related to one, or is fairly active at their school knows that Open House means STRESS for teachers. So, I decided not to work the Grand Prix today and go into school and work on my classroom. Things have been neglected for the last 3-4 weeks and I had ALOT to do. Far beyond the norm. So, I headed over around 9 am and got to work. It started off fairly well, then, as I was standing on a student's desk to hang things from the ceiling, I fell. Yup, right off the desk. I caught myself with my leg (nice bruises forming already) so it wasn't a major fall, but it was the start of a yucky day. As I moved around the room, things started to fall apart-literally. I moved one of my history boards and the whole thing fell over and all the letters, posters, etc. fell right off. I went to dust my huge bookshelf and almost immediately, the shelves all decided to come off their holders and fall out of the bookcase-books and all. The entire back piece of the bookcase was off also-so I'm surprised it was even still standing. And so the morning proceeded like that-I knocked a flower vase off my desk and it broke and spilled water everywhere. This is where the wall came in to play-I threw my stapler at it. I was DONE! SERIOUSLY! So as I looked around my room and saw that every corner, every wall, every table, and every board needed help-I called Cath. The last time I did that-she dropped everything and came to school and helped me decorate and clean. Couldn't do that today. It was still good to talk to her, though, and it calmed me down. At that point, Donald and the boys came by, and we left to do an errand and eat lunch and that helped. After that, it was right back to work-you should have seen me, I had to reassemble about 10 clay pots that the kids had made and then promptly knocked off their desks, shattered to pieces, and then begged me to fix. So, I fixed them. Took an hour. Of time that I didn't really have. But, I love my kids, so I'll continue to do whatever I have to to help them enjoy the fourth grades.

Meanwhile, life has gone on, and God is good. DJ turned 13 last week (blog on that to follow), Taylor was in a dinner theatre play at church last week (blog also to follow), Donald has been going to great lengths to make sure he's here for us and helping me out, and the kids have been behaving. And we're dog-sitting Grandma's new puppy tonight! So, I know that there's more to life than Cathie-it's just a different life and I know God is faithful and we'll all be okay-I just miss her!

1 comment:

Cathi Hamen said...

Oh Heather!!!! i am sooo sorry about it all.. just think in less than two weeks we are going to stagecoach and for cheaper.. thnx to shan! i love you.. we will spoil you in ps..
cant wait to hang and laugh & ?? have FUN!!